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How to build rapport in 23 seconds

by Jackson B
How to build rapport in 23 seconds

By Raimond Volpe founder and CEO at Dynamo Selling

Have you ever met somebody and gelled straight away?  Or, have you ever met somebody and not liked them instantly? The people you gel with straight away are generally people like you, and the people you don’t gel with are different. You know in your gut in an instant.

It takes about 4-6 seconds for someone to make a snap judgement of you and the remaining 17-18 seconds to build rapport. Building rapport is important, and to do it well, you need to have the right body language. Where your feet point is where your energy will go, and people sense these subtleties in your mannerisms.

Communication is: 55 per cent physiology, 38 per cent tone, and 7 per cent words how you sound when you are speaking. What are you communicating?

Do you look confident? Do you look significant? There’s a formula t building rapport and it is: confidence equals significance plus certainty.

There are four quadrants we categorise people into:

  1. Friend (finish)

Will I benefit get value or profit?

  1. Enemy

Will I lose value or profit?

  1. Mate

Good genetic code

Looks like you come from a land with good food source for offspring

Good skin, look healthy, etc.

  1. Indifference (start)

No one cares

Like or dislike

Instinct says don’t notice

Nothing of any interest

So, how could you make yourself show value to somebody?

We are now in what’s called ‘the swipe age’. When people see you, they make snap judgements. When you’re choosing an image for an online profile, like social media, do you make your profile picture your worst pic? Naturally, you don’t, because first impressions matter, right?  Well, when you meet somebody you need to present yourself to them as if you embody the role of your profile picture. How do you look? How do you present yourself? That’s what they’re judging you on. Remember, it is in your interest is to get the customer from indifferent to friend or value

Communication is no longer just about words, however, words are important. For example, there’s a big difference between the word price and the word investment. So the way you speak and the tone that you use is extremely important. When to use high tones, when to use fast speech? Techniques like mirroring and matching involve an approach in which you mirror the other person’s physiology and you match their words.

They’re very helpful tips used in NLP (neurolinguistic programming). Communication is all about connecting in a way tht convinces the brain of something without thinking about it consciously (necessarily). The brain makes up its mind emotionally, and then, it backs it up logically. Utilising facts and figures won’t always work when you want to connect with somebody. You need to introduce emotion in order to establish a safe connection.

So building rapport, whether it be in sales, your personal life, or family life, or in business, is all about connecting and connecting quickly. Once you’ve got that connection, you have the foundation to make progress on moving from A to B.

About the auhor:

Raimond is an award-winning author and one of Australia’s premier sales trainers, and has been coaching sales teams and sales managers for some of Australia’s leading organisations across all kinds of industries for the past 20 years

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